themistoklis: "Bugger alle this for a larke" from Good Omens (Good Omens)
Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows everywhere ([personal profile] themistoklis) wrote in [community profile] vocesmente2010-07-12 11:32 am

Perfectly Civilized Discussion

Title: Perfectly Civilized Discussion
Fandom: Good Omens
Summary: "It's entirely possible to love without all of that, you know," Aziraphale said, sipping his tea.

"You have got to work on your euphemisms, angel."
Character/Pairing: Aziraphale, Crowley
Rating: PG
Length: ~1000 words
Podfic: Now with podfic by [ profile] 12gatsunohime!
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Notes: Discussion of asexuality. Thank you to [personal profile] politicette for cleaning this up a bit, and convincing me it wasn't the least entertaining thing ever.

"It's entirely possible to love without all of that, you know," Aziraphale said, sipping his tea.

"You have got to work on your euphemisms, angel."

He set his cup down and picked up his spoon, for no other reason than he felt like adding a bit more sugar to his drink, and also because he knew Crowley was still a bit fuzzy on the whole tea thing. When Aziraphale stirred in patterns the demon tried to imitate it. One day he would catch on that Aziraphale was drawing hearts and butterflies in the dark liquid.

(It happened on a Wednesday, and Crowley ruined a perfectly nice tea towel when he knocked his cup over. Aziraphale has no plans let him forget about it, even though Crowley promised to replace the towel.)

"I'm just saying," Aziraphale said. "It isn't as important as you people--"

One eyebrow raised above the sunglasses. Sometimes, when they ate in the back of the shop, Crowley took them off -- but never in public. "Me people?"

Aziraphale waved his hand vaguely, inadvertently swishing over his determination to three or four people, which by the end of the day resulted in one pay raise negotiation, one engagement, and one or two exuberant dances. One or two, depending on how wide your definition of dancing was. For Mr. Peterson, a head-bop to a young lady's blaring earphones on the Tube ride home was the very personification of 'letting go.'

"You know what I mean," he murmured.

"I'm sure I don't."

"People with … proclivities."

The demon smiled to show his teeth, and managed to fit very many more of them into one look than Aziraphale knew anyone else could do. "Are you asking me about my kinks, Aziraphale?"

Color flooded Aziraphale's cheeks. "I am not!"

Crowley slouched down in his chair, positively obscenely. "Ssss'a pity."

"Stop it." Aziraphale took the last lemon bar from the plate and broke it in half, popping one into his mouth when Crowley looked interested and started to hold out his hand. Around the crumbs (and trying not to spill too much on himself) Aziraphale mumbled, "I'm trying to have a perfectly civilized discussion here."

"Your problem, angel," Crowley said, uncrossing his legs, "is attempting to do this with someone who is not perfectly civilized."

The rest of the lemon bar disappeared rather quickly.

When the silence had gone on for longer than Crowley could tolerate (one minute and forty-three seconds, Aziraphale counted) he leaned forward and crossed his arms on top of the table. He even nodded at their waitress in such a way that had the new pot of tea and plate of crab cakes on her tray delivered to their table by mistake. The people at the corner behind them were rather put out. Crowley just pushed the plate towards Aziraphale while he murmured that oh no, he couldn't possibly.

"I'll be nice," Crowley said. "Finish your … whatever."

Aziraphale frowned slightly while he shaved off a bite of crab cake with his fork. "I just mean to say that, for everyone, it's not all it's, um, broken up to be."


"Exactly. It just doesn't hold any appeal, you see? It's like you with books."

Crowley scowled. "I've got nothing against books, now. You never saw me burning down any libraries, did you?"

"No, and thank you for that." The crab cake here was really much better than any Aziraphale had managed to make on his own, although admittedly Aziraphale's specialty was dry cereal. "That's part of it too. Mostly, they're not against it. It's just not their … cup of tea. You don't go around burning down libraries, they don't … I don't know…"

The metaphor had sort of outrun him on this one.

"I suppose," Crowley conceded. He picked up a sugar cube and ate it, whole. "But isn't it, you know … sort of hardwired in? I mean isn't it sort of necessary?"

"Overall, for the continuation of the species, yes. But individually not really. And that would hardly explain why you do it."

"I happen to think it's fun. You should try it sometime."

Aziraphale looked as affronted as one could look in a fluffy yellow sweater vest.

The sunglasses slid down Crowley's nose a little. "Oh."

"Yes." He absently sketched a bunny rabbit in his tea.

"You could've just said. S'not like I'm intolerant."

"You make fun of me," Aziraphale sniffed. "For … not making the effort. With the rest of it."

"I do not!" Crowley protested.

Angels might've been sexless unless they really wanted to make an effort, but demons weren't. Aziraphale sipped his tea, willing heat into it, and let Crowley start to squirm a bit. It wasn't as if the topic hadn't ever come up at all.

"I figured it would be the same with this," Aziraphale sighed into his saucer.

Crowley thumbed the edge of his plate. "Well, I won't make fun of you for this. Or the other thing. Anymore," he said, clearing his throat.

Aziraphale smiled just a little, but hid it behind his cup. "All right then."

The rest of their food disappeared in quick order and Aziraphale flagged down the waitress for the check. She was a bit frazzled from the complaints coming from the table in the corner (which were still waiting on its crab cakes, the ingredients of which had run out faster than the kitchen had projected).

While he was sure Aziraphale was watching, Crowley left a tip.

He also touched his hand to the small of Aziraphale's back when they were on the sidewalk and leaned over so his mouth was next to a slightly-nicked ear. Back in the day, Crowley had really known how to swing a sword. Aziraphale had really known how to duck. Mostly.

"Let's get you to a bookshop, angel."
politicette: (Default)

[personal profile] politicette 2010-07-13 01:29 am (UTC)(link)
i love this so hard
takemyrevolution: take what you want and pay for it says god (Crowley wine)

[personal profile] takemyrevolution 2010-07-13 03:33 am (UTC)(link)
This is excellent! :D

takemyrevolution: take what you want and pay for it says god (Crowley wine)

[personal profile] takemyrevolution 2010-07-13 03:46 am (UTC)(link)
I hope you write more! ^^
espreite: (Default)

[personal profile] espreite 2010-07-13 05:13 am (UTC)(link)
AHHH :DDDD This is so awesome. You do their voices so well. I don't think I'll ever get sick of Aziraphale trying to dance around "uncomfortable" topics.
lbilover: (frodo/sam reunion)

[personal profile] lbilover 2010-07-13 08:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, thank you for this- it's wonderful! I do hope you'll write more.
enchantersnight: (Default)

[personal profile] enchantersnight 2010-07-14 07:29 am (UTC)(link)
How wonderful, I hope you write more :)

[personal profile] possibly_thrice 2010-07-30 10:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, this is lovely. You have their voices just right-- the narrator's, too, for that matter.

[identity profile] 2010-08-03 01:42 pm (UTC)(link)
This was absolutely wonderful. Absolutely. Aziraphale's idle dithering, even while drinking tea, is the best thing ever. Also, I have a bit of a question. It wouldn't be for another week or two while I get a better microphone, but with your permission I would absolutely die of happiness if I could record a podfic of this [the character voices just speak to me, really.] If you'd rather I didn't, that's fine, too.

Either way, the story's fantastic! Thank you very much for sharing this with us.

[identity profile] 2010-08-04 02:13 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, thank you very much! Again, I probably won't actually record it until I can get a better microphone, but I'll let you know when I've finished it!

[identity profile] 2010-08-07 05:19 am (UTC)(link)
It's finished! You can get it here:

I don't think I did too well, but it was my first podfic, so I'm sorry if it's not that great...^^;

[identity profile] 2010-08-07 05:06 pm (UTC)(link)

Funny story, I actually had some oreos on hand and took a bite of one just to record that line--I paused it afterwards, finished chewing, took a couple drinks of water, and then started up the recording again. I am nothing if not dedicated. XD And thank you so much, I really do try to make the characters' emotions come through, and I'm very glad you liked it. [I love parentheticals, too. I actually talk in them often, so I had practice with them beforehand. XD]
rroselavy: (Default)

[personal profile] rroselavy 2010-09-05 01:35 pm (UTC)(link)
This was lovely! Thanks for sharing!
nikkernoodle: (Default)

[personal profile] nikkernoodle 2011-10-23 03:29 am (UTC)(link)
This is ridiculously adorable and so very them. Thank you so much for sharing!

Встроенная и отдельностоящая бытовая техника

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