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vocesmente2011-10-10 09:10 pm
themistoklis) wrote in vocesmente2011-10-10 09:10 pm
It's Time to Talk (Part Seven, the Last)
Title: It's Time to Talk
Fandom: Fake News, Strangers with Candy RPF, Misc. Comics RPF
Summary: The last year of high school always means talking about the future. Even when some people still have another year left after this.
Character/Pairing: Jon/Stephen, Amy/Paul, Jimmy, Denis, Janeane
Rating: PG, some cursing
Length: ~3,700 words (this part) ~24,500 words (total)
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Notes: Flashbacks are in italics. "Stevie" (in the fic) is the name Stephen went by as a little kid. Also, several characters in this story are asexual. Hallelujah It's Raining Labels, this Psychology Today article, this Lexicon, and this definition of queerplatonic may be useful if you want to look into asexuality and related concepts.
Thanks: Thanks topoliticette and paperscribe for in-depth beta services and everyone who commented on the first few thousand words of this story and told me to keep going with it. Thanks to aybara_max for the wonderful art.
On his eleventh birthday Jimmy is so sick that he cannot get out of bed, but he still wants to have a party. His mom says that they can't bring the family over, but he begs her to call Stephen and Jon, because he's fevery and tired and sad and he wants to see his friends.
She says she'll call, but they can't stay for too long or they might get sick too. That just makes him sadder, and he presses his face into his pillow.
Jon gets there first, and he seems awkward, twirling his gift in his hands and standing in the doorway. Jimmy tries to say hello, but then he starts coughing and can't talk. Jon comes over and sits down on the bed, covering Jimmy's hand with his until Jimmy can breathe again.
Then Stephen is there and he and Jon tell him silly stories until he falls asleep.
Later Jimmy doesn't remember much about his eleventh birthday but he likes to think he didn't imagine Jon being his friend even when Stephen wasn't there.
---
When Mrs. Colbert is at home, she kind of gives them weird smiles when they go to Stephen's room, so Jon is really glad that she's out with friends when he comes over. It took him a minute to decide to come when Stephen called, and he feels weird, like he hasn't been in the house for a really long time, when he follows Stephen up the stairs to his room.
Then he feels ridiculous when he lays down on Stephen's bed and Stephen just sits. But before Jon can sit up, too, Stephen lays down and lets Jon put an arm around him. Stephen touches the front of Jon's shirt and absently smoothes it out.
"Hi," Jon says, when Stephen hasn't said anything for a few minutes. Stephen giggles so hard he hiccups, and Jon runs a hand over his back. "I put together the list for you. Um. It's kind of big."
When Stephen looks up at him next, he pushes his glasses up to the top of his head. "I guess we have a lot to talk about," he says. He curls a hand over the back of Jon's neck and Jon lets his eyes flutter shut for a moment. He thinks Stephen might kiss him, but Stephen just touches their foreheads together. Jon swallows. "I'm sorry I've been avoiding you," Stephen says.
"You haven't been avoiding me," Jon says. He shifts his arm so he can wrap his fingers around Stephen's elbow.
"Yes I have." Stephen threads his fingers through the wispy hair on the back of Jon's neck. "I haven't talked to you about school at all. Jimmy's talked you more about college than I have."
Jon considers that for a moment. He has talked about college to Jimmy about … well … nearly every time he's seen Jimmy recently. But Jimmy always seemed interested and curious and enthusiastic about it, and it's easy to talk to somebody like that. And … Jimmy never turned it into a "so what are you planning to do with the rest of your life?" conversation. Which he can't say for his relatives.
He wets his lips. "I guess… I mean. I'm nervous too," he says. "I don't know what I want to study and I don't know who I'm going to live with, if Denis doesn't go to the same school as I do." He sighs and shifts, his knees bumping against Stephen's. "But it'd be unfair to leave him without a roommate, when, you know…"
"We wouldn't have to leave him without a roommate." Stephen picks at the front of Jon's shirt with his free hand. He looks up and meets Jon's eyes. "I want to live with you," he says.
Jon blinks. "I want to live with you too."
"We've never actually said that before," Stephen says, biting down on his lip. "I want … I want to live with you because I love you," he says, and Jon starts to open his mouth but Stephen shakes his head slightly. "But you want to live with Denis because you love him too. And I … I love Jimmy," he says. Then he holds his breath.
The back of Jon's head aches a little, but he shuts his eyes and concentrates on the feel of Stephen's hand still tangled in his hair. He tries to imagine moving in with Stephen -- it's not like he hasn't before, but… This time he pictures them being alone. Not being able to hear Stephen and Jimmy laughing all the time and not having Denis to grouch at when he doesn't want to study or get off the couch.
And Stephen still isn't breathing. Jon tilts his head back and kisses Stephen's nose. The ache at the back of his head recedes a bit. "I … It's not that I don't want to be with you. I love you," he says, softly. "But it's never just been us and I don't know what that would be like. Maybe we're … maybe we need more time before we can do that. Would it really be okay with you?"
"It would be okay," Stephen says. He stops and squeezes his eyes shut, and his face looks so different than when he does that with his glasses on. "I don't know how to picture my life in twenty years without you. But I can't see it without Jimmy, either," he whispers.
Jon hesitates. "I … can't picture anything that far," he admits. He swallows. "My family keeps asking me about what I'm going to do and I don't know and they act like I should. But I don't and I just. I don't want to be alone," he finally says.
"Does it bother you that I want Jimmy there?"
"I'm not … jealous, if that's what you mean," Jon says. He remembers Jimmy sitting on the other end of the bed and shifts awkwardly. "Would he be okay with that?"
Stephen blinks. "Sure."
The tips of Jon's ears turn pink. "I just thought maybe he felt kinda uncomfortable whenever you and me, um."
"We don't have to share a bedroom with him, Jon," Stephen teases, and Jon flushes from pink to red. Stephen bumps their heads together. "I mean, it'd be weird if we made out in front of him," he says. He tugs at Jon's shirt. "But he's said he doesn't care if we hug or kiss. As long as we're not just … sitting around and ignoring him."
"Like we were the other afternoon?" Jon asks, queasy.
Stephen's eyes soften. "Yeah. I should've… done things differently. Instead of just talking at you."
"I could've said more." They'd been the ones to make Jimmy the odd man out.
They sit there for a while, and Stephen ends up cuddling close enough to tuck his head against Jon's neck. It's nice, and calm, even though Stephen's bed is kind of cramped. And Stephen's thumb is pressing into the base of Jon's neck.
"I think Denis and Janeane are going to end up going to school in Chicago or Boston," Jon finally says. And right now that's the only thing in the world that he can think of to narrow down his list of schools.
Stephen snuggles closer. "We could talk to Jimmy about it?" he suggests.
The two of them sit there for so long that Jon almost wishes they'd left the window open to let some cool air in. But at least being warm because of Stephen isn't a bad kind of warm. And it's something Jon wouldn't mind getting used to, anyway.
"Maybe let me do it. I … I should talk to Jimmy more," Jon says.
Stephen smiles at him. "Okay."
---
"I need to go to my locker," Stephen blurts, when they reach the outside doors.
Jimmy blinks and turns around with one hand still on the door handle. "I thought you went to your locker before you met me."
Shuffling in place, Stephen tugs at the straps on his book bag. "I forgot," he says. He meets Jimmy's eyes for a second and then clears his throat, turning to look over his shoulder. "So, uh, you go ahead, and I'll catch up?" he asks.
Maybe he has to ask a teacher a question and is embarrassed about it, or something, because Stephen never forgets to go to his locker -- it's on his walk from class to meet Jimmy -- but Jimmy just shrugs. "Okay. I'll just wait with Jon."
Before he jogs off, Stephen gives him a double thumbs-up, which makes Jimmy laugh a little as he heads outside.
He has on a sweatshirt because it's getting to the point where it's threatening cold rain every day, but the sky is pretty clear as he walks over to Jon's car. Jon is wearing soccer shorts and a t-shirt and Jimmy doesn't know how he's not shivering while he sits on the trunk.
"Hi. Stephen's going back to his locker," Jimmy says. He skids on the gravel a bit when he tries to slow down from his jog and Jon jumps up, grabbing his wrist so he doesn't fall. Jimmy hesitates, then smiles sheepishly. "Thanks."
Jon lets out a breath and shoves his hands in his pockets. "It's okay." He kicks at the gravel and Jimmy fiddles with the straps on his book bag. "Actually, um, can I talk to you for a minute?"
Oh.
Jimmy's stomach sinks and he slides his book bag off his back, holding it to his chest because it makes him feel better, even though at this time of day there are pounds and pounds of books inside. So… Stephen must have talked to Jon. And then he didn't want to be around when Jon talked to Jimmy about it.
Part of him wishes he'd never said anything to Stephen in the first place. He swallows and nods, then says, "Yeah," when Jon just looks uncertainly at him.
Taking a deep breath, Jon puts his hand on Jimmy's shoulder. His fingers are freezing, even through Jimmy's sweatshirt. "Stephen came over to my house yesterday and we talked about college and stuff," he says. It sounds kind of like he rehearsed it. Jimmy wants to pull away from him and his cold hand, but he can't make his legs move. "And we agreed… I mean, I thought… I want to talk about it with you, too."
"Oh," Jimmy says. He doesn't feel any better because he has no idea what that means.
Jon looks at his hand and then lets go of him, running his fingers through his hair. "So, um. I don't really know what I want from a school," he says, which at least isn't, "And you need to walk home today." "But it's kind of important to me to go to school with Denis. And I'm pretty sure he'll end up somewhere in Chicago or Boston." He falters. "Do you … would that be okay?"
It takes a moment for Jimmy to realize Jon's stopped talking. "You're … asking my opinion?" he asks, blinking. And Stephen isn't here?
"Yeah." Jon kicks the gravel again. "And, you know. Say whatever you want. Feel."
Jimmy looks up at the school, but he doesn't see Stephen coming down the stairs of the parking lot. He doesn't see Stephen at all, and…
"I really don't want to live in Boston," he blurts, and the sides of his stomach clench when he admits it. He takes a breath and meets Jon's eyes, but Jon doesn't look mad, or worried, or annoyed. Jimmy takes a breath. "But Chicago would be okay. It has cool stuff."
Jon nods. And he rubs a hand up and down his arm, which makes Jimmy wonder if he's finally getting cold. "Okay. So. I'll … apply to a bunch of schools around there, then," he says, smiling a little. Then he glances up at the stairs like Jimmy just had. "And, uh…"
"Yeah?" Jimmy asks.
He doesn't know what's happening but he does think it feels good. Probably. At least, if his head would stop spinning. He doesn't have to tag along to whatever city Jon and Stephen want. He got to say what city he wanted. And … Jon cared about what he said.
"Stephen said you didn't hate it when we hug and kiss in front of you but you looked so uncomfortable the other day that I just, I had to ask, I mean, I don't … I don't want to weird you out," Jon says, ducking his head lower and lower the faster he talks. "Especially when we're roommates."
Jimmy puts his book bag down on the trunk to keep his arms from wearing out. He wants to sit down, but he also doesn't want to freeze his ass off, so he just shifts his weight.
"So Stephen said it was okay and you still wanted to ask me?"
Jon nods, glancing up. He reaches up and scratches the back of his neck, waiting.
"And you think it'd be okay if we were roommates?"
Jon nods again.
Jimmy jumps forward and hugs Jon before he can think himself out of it. Jon loses his balance a little for a second, but he stretches out his arms and hugs him back, anyway. It's awkward and neither of them know what to do with their arms, but it's the first time Jimmy can remember ever hugging Jon and he's just so glad not to be pushed away.
After a moment they hear Stephen clearing his throat, and they let go of each other so they can look over where Stephen is standing at the bottom of the stairs, with his math textbook in one hand and a huge smile on his face.
"So it went okay?"
---
The woods behind the Colbert house were always good for camping. Amy always wears her boots and a floppy hat and makes everybody pretend that they don't know she's taking pictures of them.
The last time they camp out, somebody knocks the electric lantern over and the bulb gets loose. Amy walks her fingers up somebody's arm and kisses his cheek, and Denis chokes so hard that she almost dies from embarrassment while she's explaining she thought he was Paul. They've both got hairy arms.
They're supposed to be telling scary stories once they get the lantern back on, but Jimmy and Stephen just get into a contest to see who can make Jon laugh the hardest, and Janeane's the only one who doesn't panic when Jon has an asthma attack and needs his inhaler.
All in all it's a pretty good trip.
---
"Where'd you get that?"
Stephen is hot and sweaty just from sitting in the audience on the football field, so he can't imagine how gross everybody else feels since they were all stuck in graduation robes. But he still stops in the doorway of the den with only Amy and Jimmy ahead of him, because his eyes are stuck to the pile of party stuff in the corner.
Amy stares at him for a moment and looks over to the corner of the room. "What, the horns? That party shop up in town."
"No, no!"
Stephen darts forward just before Denis reaches out to nudge him forward, and digs the board out of the pile of party things while the others stream into the room and start tugging their robes off. Jimmy follows him, but there's not room for him to lean over and help. It takes a minute to get it out safely, because it's heavier than Stephen would've imagined, but he picks it up and manages to turn around with it without whacking Jimmy in the arm.
"Where did you get this?" Stephen asks again. The board isn't cutting into his hands. Actually, when he runs his fingers over the surface, it's all smooth and sealed, like something you'd get from a store.
Amy's sitting on the ground unlacing the heels she wore for graduation. Her robe's tossed over the back of the couch and her dress is all wrinkled. She looks up at Stephen and tilts her head to one side. "The last time we went out to that house all together I took it home. My dad finished it up so we could keep it. Why?"
Stephen opens and shuts his mouth wordlessly and hugs the board to his chest.
It's longer than he remembered, and obviously heavier -- not that he spent a lot of time prying up the floorboards in that place -- but it stays balanced when he puts it down on the arm of the loveseat. Mr. Sedaris must have sanded the edges before he finished it. Stephen steps back so he can look at it better. Jimmy links his arm through his so hesitantly that Stephen yanks him close and kisses his cheek, making him giggle.
Amy shakes her head. "I'm gonna go put the camera up. Come out when you're done gawking."
Their names are in random order, and not all facing the same direction, but they're all cut pretty deep so it's still easy to read the names, even under the finish. Stephen can still see the spiral Denis cut into the wood at the corner to make sure his knife wouldn't chip when they wrote their names down.
"Oh, hey," Janeane says, walking up to Stephen's other side. Her hair's all curled and wispy and still looks neat, even though she's already yanked her robe off over her head. She stares at the board for a moment and then a little smile curls over her face. "Huh. Denis, c'mere!"
When Denis comes over he's still wearing the bright blue robe that's a little too short on him, and Stephen suspects got passed down from Kiwi. He laces his fingers through Janeane's and shakes his head at the board. Jimmy elbows Stephen and Stephen grins a little.
"You guys would not shut up about using my knife for this thing," Denis says. "Once I almost told you I lost it just to see if you'd give up."
"Your poor old knife survived," Janeane drawls. "I remember, because the summer after that you and Kiwi were throwing it and you ended up having to get four stitches in your thumb." Stephen and Jimmy both giggle and duck their heads when Denis sends a good-natured glare their way.
Jon walks up and lays both his arms around Stephen and Jimmy's shoulders, resting behind them. He took his robe off and, when Stephen glances back, sees that he started undoing his tie but got stopped by somebody -- probably Amy, Stephen guesses. In a few minutes they're going to take pictures and then set up the party and eat way too much. But Amy and Mrs. Sedaris made cupcakes, and even when he's sick, Stephen always eats their cupcakes.
He kisses Stephen's cheek and squeezes Jimmy's shoulder, then asks, "Hey, did Stephen tell you that place is haunted now?" which makes Stephen turn bright red.
"Naw, really? Should we go say hi?" Denis asks, snickering.
Stephen sticks his tongue out. "You're just jealous because you never saw it," he declares. He folds his arms over his chest for good measure.
Denis grins a little at him and leans over Janeane to ruffle his hair. "C'mon, you can't shit another Irish guy. We've all seen ghosts, Colbert."
"Really?" Jimmy asks, wide-eyed. "You've seen a ghost, Denis?"
But before Denis can do more than open his mouth, Paul barrels past them and grabs up the board, his new short hair (which Stephen still doesn't like but would never say out loud) all flattened out from where he'd tugged his cap on too tight. "Group picture?" he suggests, holding it up a little.
"Not if Amy and I have to sit on the ground again," Janeane says. But she tugs on Denis's hand and leads him out to the backyard, where Amy went with the camera and tripod.
Jon stretches his arms above his head and grunts. "I'll sit on the ground with you!" he yells, pushing Jimmy and Stephen out of the den.
Just before they reach the porch Amy ducks her head in the back door, beaming. "Hey, grab robes for Jimmy and Stephen so we can make sure we all have pictures of us with them!"
---
A couple of weeks later they all get copies of the photos in the mail. Real, printed copies, which is nice, and a lot of which end up on bedroom walls that year because Amy's pretty good at making them all hold still for photos.
The photos come plus a few in the back. Amy and Paul in their graduation clothes, but not in the Sedaris's backyard or even the football field from school.
It takes a couple of minutes for Stephen to recognize city hall, but when he does he laughs so hard he falls out of his chair. And Jimmy's already gotten to the photos from Niagara Falls by the time Stephen composes himself enough to call.
On the back of the last photo, in Paul's handwriting, there's a note:
I was gonna change my last name but Amy punched me in the shoulder and told me Dinello was a good stage name. And she didn't want people to confuse me with her brother.
"You and Jon better not pull a stunt like this," Jimmy warns him, even though he's laughing.
Stephen shakes his head. "No way," he promises. "Besides, Amy would accuse us of copying."
---
When Janeane and her family move to the new house in kindergarten, she tells her mom she hates this place more than anything and she wants to go back home. Her mom takes her hand and walks her to the mouth of the neighborhood, then watches as she walks the last block and crosses the street to the school.
Janeane stands at the crosswalk and yells "I'm never going to make any friends here!"
Her mom waves and shouts "Yes you will!"
To Mrs. Garofalo's credit, she never says "I told you so."
Masterpost
Fandom: Fake News, Strangers with Candy RPF, Misc. Comics RPF
Summary: The last year of high school always means talking about the future. Even when some people still have another year left after this.
Character/Pairing: Jon/Stephen, Amy/Paul, Jimmy, Denis, Janeane
Rating: PG, some cursing
Length: ~3,700 words (this part) ~24,500 words (total)
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Notes: Flashbacks are in italics. "Stevie" (in the fic) is the name Stephen went by as a little kid. Also, several characters in this story are asexual. Hallelujah It's Raining Labels, this Psychology Today article, this Lexicon, and this definition of queerplatonic may be useful if you want to look into asexuality and related concepts.
Thanks: Thanks to
politicette and paperscribe for in-depth beta services and everyone who commented on the first few thousand words of this story and told me to keep going with it. Thanks to aybara_max for the wonderful art.On his eleventh birthday Jimmy is so sick that he cannot get out of bed, but he still wants to have a party. His mom says that they can't bring the family over, but he begs her to call Stephen and Jon, because he's fevery and tired and sad and he wants to see his friends.
She says she'll call, but they can't stay for too long or they might get sick too. That just makes him sadder, and he presses his face into his pillow.
Jon gets there first, and he seems awkward, twirling his gift in his hands and standing in the doorway. Jimmy tries to say hello, but then he starts coughing and can't talk. Jon comes over and sits down on the bed, covering Jimmy's hand with his until Jimmy can breathe again.
Then Stephen is there and he and Jon tell him silly stories until he falls asleep.
Later Jimmy doesn't remember much about his eleventh birthday but he likes to think he didn't imagine Jon being his friend even when Stephen wasn't there.
---
When Mrs. Colbert is at home, she kind of gives them weird smiles when they go to Stephen's room, so Jon is really glad that she's out with friends when he comes over. It took him a minute to decide to come when Stephen called, and he feels weird, like he hasn't been in the house for a really long time, when he follows Stephen up the stairs to his room.
Then he feels ridiculous when he lays down on Stephen's bed and Stephen just sits. But before Jon can sit up, too, Stephen lays down and lets Jon put an arm around him. Stephen touches the front of Jon's shirt and absently smoothes it out.
"Hi," Jon says, when Stephen hasn't said anything for a few minutes. Stephen giggles so hard he hiccups, and Jon runs a hand over his back. "I put together the list for you. Um. It's kind of big."
When Stephen looks up at him next, he pushes his glasses up to the top of his head. "I guess we have a lot to talk about," he says. He curls a hand over the back of Jon's neck and Jon lets his eyes flutter shut for a moment. He thinks Stephen might kiss him, but Stephen just touches their foreheads together. Jon swallows. "I'm sorry I've been avoiding you," Stephen says.
"You haven't been avoiding me," Jon says. He shifts his arm so he can wrap his fingers around Stephen's elbow.
"Yes I have." Stephen threads his fingers through the wispy hair on the back of Jon's neck. "I haven't talked to you about school at all. Jimmy's talked you more about college than I have."
Jon considers that for a moment. He has talked about college to Jimmy about … well … nearly every time he's seen Jimmy recently. But Jimmy always seemed interested and curious and enthusiastic about it, and it's easy to talk to somebody like that. And … Jimmy never turned it into a "so what are you planning to do with the rest of your life?" conversation. Which he can't say for his relatives.
He wets his lips. "I guess… I mean. I'm nervous too," he says. "I don't know what I want to study and I don't know who I'm going to live with, if Denis doesn't go to the same school as I do." He sighs and shifts, his knees bumping against Stephen's. "But it'd be unfair to leave him without a roommate, when, you know…"
"We wouldn't have to leave him without a roommate." Stephen picks at the front of Jon's shirt with his free hand. He looks up and meets Jon's eyes. "I want to live with you," he says.
Jon blinks. "I want to live with you too."
"We've never actually said that before," Stephen says, biting down on his lip. "I want … I want to live with you because I love you," he says, and Jon starts to open his mouth but Stephen shakes his head slightly. "But you want to live with Denis because you love him too. And I … I love Jimmy," he says. Then he holds his breath.
The back of Jon's head aches a little, but he shuts his eyes and concentrates on the feel of Stephen's hand still tangled in his hair. He tries to imagine moving in with Stephen -- it's not like he hasn't before, but… This time he pictures them being alone. Not being able to hear Stephen and Jimmy laughing all the time and not having Denis to grouch at when he doesn't want to study or get off the couch.
And Stephen still isn't breathing. Jon tilts his head back and kisses Stephen's nose. The ache at the back of his head recedes a bit. "I … It's not that I don't want to be with you. I love you," he says, softly. "But it's never just been us and I don't know what that would be like. Maybe we're … maybe we need more time before we can do that. Would it really be okay with you?"
"It would be okay," Stephen says. He stops and squeezes his eyes shut, and his face looks so different than when he does that with his glasses on. "I don't know how to picture my life in twenty years without you. But I can't see it without Jimmy, either," he whispers.
Jon hesitates. "I … can't picture anything that far," he admits. He swallows. "My family keeps asking me about what I'm going to do and I don't know and they act like I should. But I don't and I just. I don't want to be alone," he finally says.
"Does it bother you that I want Jimmy there?"
"I'm not … jealous, if that's what you mean," Jon says. He remembers Jimmy sitting on the other end of the bed and shifts awkwardly. "Would he be okay with that?"
Stephen blinks. "Sure."
The tips of Jon's ears turn pink. "I just thought maybe he felt kinda uncomfortable whenever you and me, um."
"We don't have to share a bedroom with him, Jon," Stephen teases, and Jon flushes from pink to red. Stephen bumps their heads together. "I mean, it'd be weird if we made out in front of him," he says. He tugs at Jon's shirt. "But he's said he doesn't care if we hug or kiss. As long as we're not just … sitting around and ignoring him."
"Like we were the other afternoon?" Jon asks, queasy.
Stephen's eyes soften. "Yeah. I should've… done things differently. Instead of just talking at you."
"I could've said more." They'd been the ones to make Jimmy the odd man out.
They sit there for a while, and Stephen ends up cuddling close enough to tuck his head against Jon's neck. It's nice, and calm, even though Stephen's bed is kind of cramped. And Stephen's thumb is pressing into the base of Jon's neck.
"I think Denis and Janeane are going to end up going to school in Chicago or Boston," Jon finally says. And right now that's the only thing in the world that he can think of to narrow down his list of schools.
Stephen snuggles closer. "We could talk to Jimmy about it?" he suggests.
The two of them sit there for so long that Jon almost wishes they'd left the window open to let some cool air in. But at least being warm because of Stephen isn't a bad kind of warm. And it's something Jon wouldn't mind getting used to, anyway.
"Maybe let me do it. I … I should talk to Jimmy more," Jon says.
Stephen smiles at him. "Okay."
---
"I need to go to my locker," Stephen blurts, when they reach the outside doors.
Jimmy blinks and turns around with one hand still on the door handle. "I thought you went to your locker before you met me."
Shuffling in place, Stephen tugs at the straps on his book bag. "I forgot," he says. He meets Jimmy's eyes for a second and then clears his throat, turning to look over his shoulder. "So, uh, you go ahead, and I'll catch up?" he asks.
Maybe he has to ask a teacher a question and is embarrassed about it, or something, because Stephen never forgets to go to his locker -- it's on his walk from class to meet Jimmy -- but Jimmy just shrugs. "Okay. I'll just wait with Jon."
Before he jogs off, Stephen gives him a double thumbs-up, which makes Jimmy laugh a little as he heads outside.
He has on a sweatshirt because it's getting to the point where it's threatening cold rain every day, but the sky is pretty clear as he walks over to Jon's car. Jon is wearing soccer shorts and a t-shirt and Jimmy doesn't know how he's not shivering while he sits on the trunk.
"Hi. Stephen's going back to his locker," Jimmy says. He skids on the gravel a bit when he tries to slow down from his jog and Jon jumps up, grabbing his wrist so he doesn't fall. Jimmy hesitates, then smiles sheepishly. "Thanks."
Jon lets out a breath and shoves his hands in his pockets. "It's okay." He kicks at the gravel and Jimmy fiddles with the straps on his book bag. "Actually, um, can I talk to you for a minute?"
Oh.
Jimmy's stomach sinks and he slides his book bag off his back, holding it to his chest because it makes him feel better, even though at this time of day there are pounds and pounds of books inside. So… Stephen must have talked to Jon. And then he didn't want to be around when Jon talked to Jimmy about it.
Part of him wishes he'd never said anything to Stephen in the first place. He swallows and nods, then says, "Yeah," when Jon just looks uncertainly at him.
Taking a deep breath, Jon puts his hand on Jimmy's shoulder. His fingers are freezing, even through Jimmy's sweatshirt. "Stephen came over to my house yesterday and we talked about college and stuff," he says. It sounds kind of like he rehearsed it. Jimmy wants to pull away from him and his cold hand, but he can't make his legs move. "And we agreed… I mean, I thought… I want to talk about it with you, too."
"Oh," Jimmy says. He doesn't feel any better because he has no idea what that means.
Jon looks at his hand and then lets go of him, running his fingers through his hair. "So, um. I don't really know what I want from a school," he says, which at least isn't, "And you need to walk home today." "But it's kind of important to me to go to school with Denis. And I'm pretty sure he'll end up somewhere in Chicago or Boston." He falters. "Do you … would that be okay?"
It takes a moment for Jimmy to realize Jon's stopped talking. "You're … asking my opinion?" he asks, blinking. And Stephen isn't here?
"Yeah." Jon kicks the gravel again. "And, you know. Say whatever you want. Feel."
Jimmy looks up at the school, but he doesn't see Stephen coming down the stairs of the parking lot. He doesn't see Stephen at all, and…
"I really don't want to live in Boston," he blurts, and the sides of his stomach clench when he admits it. He takes a breath and meets Jon's eyes, but Jon doesn't look mad, or worried, or annoyed. Jimmy takes a breath. "But Chicago would be okay. It has cool stuff."
Jon nods. And he rubs a hand up and down his arm, which makes Jimmy wonder if he's finally getting cold. "Okay. So. I'll … apply to a bunch of schools around there, then," he says, smiling a little. Then he glances up at the stairs like Jimmy just had. "And, uh…"
"Yeah?" Jimmy asks.
He doesn't know what's happening but he does think it feels good. Probably. At least, if his head would stop spinning. He doesn't have to tag along to whatever city Jon and Stephen want. He got to say what city he wanted. And … Jon cared about what he said.
"Stephen said you didn't hate it when we hug and kiss in front of you but you looked so uncomfortable the other day that I just, I had to ask, I mean, I don't … I don't want to weird you out," Jon says, ducking his head lower and lower the faster he talks. "Especially when we're roommates."
Jimmy puts his book bag down on the trunk to keep his arms from wearing out. He wants to sit down, but he also doesn't want to freeze his ass off, so he just shifts his weight.
"So Stephen said it was okay and you still wanted to ask me?"
Jon nods, glancing up. He reaches up and scratches the back of his neck, waiting.
"And you think it'd be okay if we were roommates?"
Jon nods again.
Jimmy jumps forward and hugs Jon before he can think himself out of it. Jon loses his balance a little for a second, but he stretches out his arms and hugs him back, anyway. It's awkward and neither of them know what to do with their arms, but it's the first time Jimmy can remember ever hugging Jon and he's just so glad not to be pushed away.
After a moment they hear Stephen clearing his throat, and they let go of each other so they can look over where Stephen is standing at the bottom of the stairs, with his math textbook in one hand and a huge smile on his face.
"So it went okay?"
---
The woods behind the Colbert house were always good for camping. Amy always wears her boots and a floppy hat and makes everybody pretend that they don't know she's taking pictures of them.
The last time they camp out, somebody knocks the electric lantern over and the bulb gets loose. Amy walks her fingers up somebody's arm and kisses his cheek, and Denis chokes so hard that she almost dies from embarrassment while she's explaining she thought he was Paul. They've both got hairy arms.
They're supposed to be telling scary stories once they get the lantern back on, but Jimmy and Stephen just get into a contest to see who can make Jon laugh the hardest, and Janeane's the only one who doesn't panic when Jon has an asthma attack and needs his inhaler.
All in all it's a pretty good trip.
---
"Where'd you get that?"
Stephen is hot and sweaty just from sitting in the audience on the football field, so he can't imagine how gross everybody else feels since they were all stuck in graduation robes. But he still stops in the doorway of the den with only Amy and Jimmy ahead of him, because his eyes are stuck to the pile of party stuff in the corner.
Amy stares at him for a moment and looks over to the corner of the room. "What, the horns? That party shop up in town."
"No, no!"
Stephen darts forward just before Denis reaches out to nudge him forward, and digs the board out of the pile of party things while the others stream into the room and start tugging their robes off. Jimmy follows him, but there's not room for him to lean over and help. It takes a minute to get it out safely, because it's heavier than Stephen would've imagined, but he picks it up and manages to turn around with it without whacking Jimmy in the arm.
"Where did you get this?" Stephen asks again. The board isn't cutting into his hands. Actually, when he runs his fingers over the surface, it's all smooth and sealed, like something you'd get from a store.
Amy's sitting on the ground unlacing the heels she wore for graduation. Her robe's tossed over the back of the couch and her dress is all wrinkled. She looks up at Stephen and tilts her head to one side. "The last time we went out to that house all together I took it home. My dad finished it up so we could keep it. Why?"
Stephen opens and shuts his mouth wordlessly and hugs the board to his chest.
It's longer than he remembered, and obviously heavier -- not that he spent a lot of time prying up the floorboards in that place -- but it stays balanced when he puts it down on the arm of the loveseat. Mr. Sedaris must have sanded the edges before he finished it. Stephen steps back so he can look at it better. Jimmy links his arm through his so hesitantly that Stephen yanks him close and kisses his cheek, making him giggle.
Amy shakes her head. "I'm gonna go put the camera up. Come out when you're done gawking."
Their names are in random order, and not all facing the same direction, but they're all cut pretty deep so it's still easy to read the names, even under the finish. Stephen can still see the spiral Denis cut into the wood at the corner to make sure his knife wouldn't chip when they wrote their names down.
"Oh, hey," Janeane says, walking up to Stephen's other side. Her hair's all curled and wispy and still looks neat, even though she's already yanked her robe off over her head. She stares at the board for a moment and then a little smile curls over her face. "Huh. Denis, c'mere!"
When Denis comes over he's still wearing the bright blue robe that's a little too short on him, and Stephen suspects got passed down from Kiwi. He laces his fingers through Janeane's and shakes his head at the board. Jimmy elbows Stephen and Stephen grins a little.
"You guys would not shut up about using my knife for this thing," Denis says. "Once I almost told you I lost it just to see if you'd give up."
"Your poor old knife survived," Janeane drawls. "I remember, because the summer after that you and Kiwi were throwing it and you ended up having to get four stitches in your thumb." Stephen and Jimmy both giggle and duck their heads when Denis sends a good-natured glare their way.
Jon walks up and lays both his arms around Stephen and Jimmy's shoulders, resting behind them. He took his robe off and, when Stephen glances back, sees that he started undoing his tie but got stopped by somebody -- probably Amy, Stephen guesses. In a few minutes they're going to take pictures and then set up the party and eat way too much. But Amy and Mrs. Sedaris made cupcakes, and even when he's sick, Stephen always eats their cupcakes.
He kisses Stephen's cheek and squeezes Jimmy's shoulder, then asks, "Hey, did Stephen tell you that place is haunted now?" which makes Stephen turn bright red.
"Naw, really? Should we go say hi?" Denis asks, snickering.
Stephen sticks his tongue out. "You're just jealous because you never saw it," he declares. He folds his arms over his chest for good measure.
Denis grins a little at him and leans over Janeane to ruffle his hair. "C'mon, you can't shit another Irish guy. We've all seen ghosts, Colbert."
"Really?" Jimmy asks, wide-eyed. "You've seen a ghost, Denis?"
But before Denis can do more than open his mouth, Paul barrels past them and grabs up the board, his new short hair (which Stephen still doesn't like but would never say out loud) all flattened out from where he'd tugged his cap on too tight. "Group picture?" he suggests, holding it up a little.
"Not if Amy and I have to sit on the ground again," Janeane says. But she tugs on Denis's hand and leads him out to the backyard, where Amy went with the camera and tripod.
Jon stretches his arms above his head and grunts. "I'll sit on the ground with you!" he yells, pushing Jimmy and Stephen out of the den.
Just before they reach the porch Amy ducks her head in the back door, beaming. "Hey, grab robes for Jimmy and Stephen so we can make sure we all have pictures of us with them!"
---
A couple of weeks later they all get copies of the photos in the mail. Real, printed copies, which is nice, and a lot of which end up on bedroom walls that year because Amy's pretty good at making them all hold still for photos.
The photos come plus a few in the back. Amy and Paul in their graduation clothes, but not in the Sedaris's backyard or even the football field from school.
It takes a couple of minutes for Stephen to recognize city hall, but when he does he laughs so hard he falls out of his chair. And Jimmy's already gotten to the photos from Niagara Falls by the time Stephen composes himself enough to call.
On the back of the last photo, in Paul's handwriting, there's a note:
I was gonna change my last name but Amy punched me in the shoulder and told me Dinello was a good stage name. And she didn't want people to confuse me with her brother.
"You and Jon better not pull a stunt like this," Jimmy warns him, even though he's laughing.
Stephen shakes his head. "No way," he promises. "Besides, Amy would accuse us of copying."
---
When Janeane and her family move to the new house in kindergarten, she tells her mom she hates this place more than anything and she wants to go back home. Her mom takes her hand and walks her to the mouth of the neighborhood, then watches as she walks the last block and crosses the street to the school.
Janeane stands at the crosswalk and yells "I'm never going to make any friends here!"
Her mom waves and shouts "Yes you will!"
To Mrs. Garofalo's credit, she never says "I told you so."
Masterpost
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...and now I'm worrying about how every pairing in these complicated interwoven poly chains needs to beat the odds and survive past high school. But if any group can pull it off, it's probably this one.
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Aww. I do have sone headcanons that they keep in touch even when they're all busy. (Amy and Paul randomly show up on people's doorsteps. Jimmy, Stephen, and Jon live together and Jimmy is constantly telling people that no, he's not sleeping with them. Janeane and Denis live in Ireland for about a year but do make it back despite Learys taking them on unsubtle real estate tours for two months near the end.)
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I'm rambling. What I mean is, I love this story.
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You're very sweet.
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Also all my love for Jimmy. Because. JIMMY.
(Basically my reaction to this was a combination of grabby hands and incoherent noises and wanting to hug all of them ALL THE TIME.)
♥♥♥♥
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:D YAY. I definitely wanted Jimmy to get a fair shake with this.
(Awww. They probably could have used some hugs. Ashley kept saying, "Jimmy needs a hug" as she betaed.)
♥♥♥♥